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<title>even though it hurts, i know leaving you is all i can do by s-kiz (pigalle)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29436756">even though it hurts, i know leaving you is all i can do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigalle/pseuds/s-kiz'>s-kiz (pigalle)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Animal Death, Character Death, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, International Fanworks Day 2021, as well as:, descriptions of the aftermath of violence, not everyone dies though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:54:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29436756</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigalle/pseuds/s-kiz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Minho wakes up in the middle of the night to zombies approaching their camp, but it looks like not everyone will be able to get away...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan &amp; Lee Felix, Bang Chan &amp; Lee Minho | Lee Know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Drabbles Challenge for Chaotic Writers</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>even though it hurts, i know leaving you is all i can do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is written for the chaotic writers' drabble challenge for international fanworks day, with the challenge of a new style or theme that i haven't written before</p><p>rating (or rather lack thereof) is for the theme and the topics brought up</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Minho has been holding onto a thin thread that is his dear cats and Chan and Felix. Those are the only things that have forced him forward, to keep going, to keep finding food and protection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows it's dangerous to bring the cats along, but what else is he supposed to do? If he'd left them at home they would have been dead by now, either from lack of food or from having been attacked by the zombies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He learnt that two days ago, when the three of them had been a little too sloppy when they set up camp and checked their surroundings. By the time they woke up and managed to fend of the lone zombie, Soonie had already been attacked. Now he has a long, nasty gash down his side and left hindleg, carefully wrapped in the last piece of gauze they had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho has to carry him while Chan and Felix make sure Dori and Doongie come along. They still have the small cage if they need to do a quick getaway, but it's so small that Soonie only yowled in pain when they tried to stuff him in there with the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan and Felix have been throwing Minho looks when they think he doesn't see them. Like now, when the two of them are sitting by the fire, Felix curled into Chan's arms, as if they're making the most of their last hours together. And, well, it very well might just be — they never know when the zombies will come, who will manage to make it out alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho knows what their looks mean, because Soonie has just gotten worse and worse for each day, and they don't have anything else to help him with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Minho doesn't want to let go, not yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then, in the middle of the night, when all three of them are curled around each other, Soonie resting by their heads and Doongie and Dori in the cage, Minho wakes up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's quiet at first, the night still and silent. Too silent. He can't even hear any insects, which must mean…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Guys, wake up!" he whispers, shaking Felix and Chan to get them to wake up. "There's a zombie here!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan blinks awake first, always a light sleeper. It's a wonder that he didn't already wake up…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Chan asks, in a voice way hoarser than it should be. Almost like he's getting sick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to go!” Minho hisses, feeling himself starting to get annoyed from panic. Why aren’t they waking up?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Chan says. Minho doesn’t like the resignation in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wake Felix up, I’ll go and see if I can see how many zombies there are.” He stands up to head outside, but Chan catches his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to run.” Chan sounds too somber, and Felix still hasn’t woken up. “It’s too late, but you can still get away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “No, you don’t get to decide that,” Minho chokes out, fighting back tears despite not wanting to admit to them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Minho,” Chan says, curling his fingers around Minho’s wrist. “I don’t think I’ll be able to wake Felix up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t say that,” Minho shakes his head, “you can’t say that. You have to wake him up, hyung, we need to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Outside the tent comes a groan from a zombie. It’s too close already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just go,” Chan begs. “I’ll keep them distracted so you can get away. You have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t just leave you!” Felix doesn’t stir despite his loud voice, making Minho’s gut curl in fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re already as good as dead,” Chan says, reaching for their bags of things, “you’re not. Take Doongie and Dori and run.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t just leave you!” Minho can feel anger boiling just underneath the surface, but he doesn’t want to suppress it. Not when it’s the only thing keeping him from breakin down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll look after Soonie,” Chan’s voice is soft, too understanding. He pushes the bags towards Minho, and turns to get the cage. “I know that you know that this is for the best, Minho.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to,” Minho tries his best to not whine, failing miserably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna miss you,” Chan says. He stands up on shaky legs and pulls Minho into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix still hasn’t stirred, and Soonie still looks like he’s sleeping. Peacefully. More peaceful than anything he’s seen the last week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s hard, and it goes against everything he wants to do, but Minho knows then that he has to leave them behind. He’ll have to trust Chan’s words and do what he can to survive. On his own, with Doongie and Dori.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bags are heavy, and so is the cage, but he manages to get everything with him with Chan’s help. He notices that Chan didn’t leave anything behind for himself and Felix, but he chooses to ignore that, just so that he maybe won’t break down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan grabs the bats they have laying by the tent opening and hands one of them to Minho. “Promise me you will run as far as you can?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho nods, not trusting his voice not to break if he tries to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And don’t come back here, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho wants to promise him that, if only for Chan’s peace of mind, but he knows he won’t be able to keep the promise if he does. And yet he makes himself nod, as if that might convince himself as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan smiles, the motion pulling at his cheeks. He looks too soft like this, and Minho’s chest aches. “Take care, and stay safe for us, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Minho chokes out, reaching out to squeeze Chan’s hand once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then they step outside the tent together and Minho runs. Runs away from the camp, away from the zombies. Away from Chan, Felix, and Soonie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He returns to the spot later, when he’s sure the zombies can’t still be there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows Chan won’t like it if he knows he’s doing it, but he needs to know. He needs to know what happened with Chan, Felix, and Soonie. Because what if they’re still there, hurt but alive? And yet it doesn’t prepare him for arriving and seeing the blood everywhere. Most of it seems to have been from the zombies, but then he’ll spot some stains that clearly aren’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet he can’t find any bodies anywhere. There’s chunks of zombies here and there, clearly torn apart by their own, but he can’t find any traces of anything human or animal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until he ventures further into the surrounding forest. There, under a huge tree he finds first a crude cross. A clear marking for a grave. Soonie. He falls down on his knees by it, a sob wracking through his body as heavy tears spill down his cheeks. He misses his baby so much, and suddenly he can’t do anything but beating himself up for not being there with him in his last moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there’s nothing he can do about it now. Now the only thing he can do is continue living, knowing that there is nothing he can do to change this. But first he needs to know what happened with Chan and Felix.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a trail of blood leading away from the grave that he didn’t notice before. It leads him through the forest until he reaches a cliff. There, leaning against a large boulder sits Chan holding Felix in his arms. Felix looks mostly void of blood, but Chan has gashes all down his body, to the point it’s a wonder he’s still alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except he isn’t still alive, Minho notices when he gets closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of the wounds are still bleeding, and he’s even more pale than he usually is. Ashen, even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so is Felix.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho can’t just leave them like this, but there’s also not much he can do for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time the fire dies down, it’s dark around Minho, and he can hear zombies from down the valley. Time to go again, then.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you can find me on twt @ <a href="https://twitter.com/bangpeachchan">bangpeachchan</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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